Friday, February 29, 2008

Fizzy!

Okay, I think I can function again. I seriously could not put together a cohesive thought this afternoon! I still cannot believe we actually have a date, a solid time when we will have her with us. No more guessing! Let me tell you about our day!

I absolutely intended to take Ian out to do something fun today. We had spent his entire vacation at home, with me stressed out on and off of the computer, or cleaning all week! We were going to meet Greg at work for lunch and then go do something. I really didn't think we would receive our pink today, I fully intended to be waiting all weekend! I checked the computer on and off until about 12:00 when I got a call from the vet to tell us Milo was ready to come home! So Ian and I decided to ask daddy for a rain check, we would pick Milo up and grab some lunch on the way home. I checked the forums one more time before leaving and saw that one person from our group (all those with results that arrived at the Embassy on the 27th) had received their pink! My stomach was in knots, I really wanted to stay by the computer and see if the flood gates of pink were about to open! But Ian was ready and raring to go so off we went. Our vet's office is not more than 15 minutes away, and I was there less than 5 minutes before the receptionist handed me the phone and said, "I think it's your husband." I figured he was calling to talk about how we were going to pay the vet bill (a doozy!), but he instead said "We have a date!" It was all I could do to not run out into the parking lot and scream! I felt like a kid on Christmas Eve. I think Ian explained the feeling best a couple weeks ago he asked if when I got really excited about something if I felt all fizzy inside. I absolutely felt fizzy today! I walked out of that office on clouds (that was one way to take the sting away from the vet bill!)! I got home and seriously could not focus on anything! I opened the e-mail and there it was. I opened up the document and saw on the first line; Ana's name butted right up next to our last name. I think that's when it really hit me that she is ours! Then after I snapped out of that daydream, there was this person to call, that person to write, the blog to update (you should have seen my frenzy to coordinate the pink colors! I finally gave up and went with the gray background! There must have been 5 phases to the "pink" blog change, sorry if you were checking at that time it must have been very confusing!). We had to start calling the travel agent to book tickets, where were we going to stay? You would think we would have thought about this more ahead of time but truthfully, until it was real we just couldn't think about it! Anyways, the afternoon is kind of a blur, lots of phone calls and e-mails, thank you everyone for your well wishes! We have made our plans, we will be leaving on March 11th, and returning on March 17th. We will be either staying at the Westin or the Marriott as we promised Ian there would be a pool (oh and Greg's dying to go swimming too!). I just still can't believe we have reached this point, our daughter is coming home! Then to top it all off, in the mail today, we received a copy of the DNA results and stapled to it was a picture of Ana taken on the day her DNA was taken (which happened to be my mum's birthday!). She looks like quite the chunky little monkey! I just can't wait to get down there and squeeze her cheeks! I will share the picture as soon as I can get it scanned.

Anyways, just wanted to share how the day unfolded. Thank you all for all your support and prayers through these long months. It has meant so much to us to feel you all by our sides helping to hold us up! To everyone who has followed our journey, would you mind leaving a comment for Ana? We plan to get this blog printed in some form and would love for her to know how many people have anxiously awaited her arrival along with us!

PINK PINK BO BINK!

IT'S TRUE,
IT'S REALLY REALLY TRUE!

BABY GIRL IS COMING HOME!

OUR APPOINTMENT IS
MARCH 13TH, 7:15 AM!

SORRY, I CAN'T CONCENTRATE RIGHT NOW,
I'LL WRITE MORE LATER!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

No Pink today...

Well, I guess today wasn't the day. I'd like to hope it will be tomorrow, but I have a nagging feeling that we will be waiting over the weekend. I was actually able to stay away from the computer trap today, believe it or not! I was cleaning because we had rescheduled our appointment with the social worker from Monday to this afternoon. It all went well, literally just an update of our home study that he did last year, making sure nothing had changed. Ian didn't offer him any boogers this time thankfully, but we didn't escape without incident. Ian was goofing around on the couch next to the SW and did a headstand while simultaneously tooting (passing gas, farting, whatever you like to refer to it as) as his bum was in the air, announced it loudly and laughed hysterically...nice. That was about it for Ian but Greg had to make it interesting as well. R asked to use our bathroom and Greg says "Do you need toilet paper?" I gasped. Did he seriously just ask the social worker if he was going to take a poop in our bathroom? R laughed and declined, he wouldn't be needing any this time. We could hear him laughing to himself in the bathroom (I'm sure he heard me scolding Greg). Now, in his defense, Greg did have a reason to ask this. He arrived home from work about 15 minutes before R's arrival and needed to use the bathroom himself (you guessed it, he needed toilet paper). I asked him if it was completely necessary to stink up our bathroom minutes before the SW's arrival and asked him to take his business to the upstairs bathroom. Instead of retrieving a new roll of toilet paper, he just grabbed the roll from the downstairs bathroom (arrgh, men!). So I guess it had to be asked, and was better than the alternative of R having to ask for toilet paper, how embarrassing would that be! So R thanked Greg for having his back and we had a good laugh about it. Good thing he has a sense of humor....with this family!

We talked to the vet today and she said Milo continues to improve and they will be doing the test for Addison's tomorrow. He may be able to come home tomorrow as well! Ian and I went to visit him yesterday, and he was looking a lot better already. He had an IV that was wrapped in a hot pink bandage, Ian was quick to ask why they put Milo in a girl color (clearly he forgets his favorite color up until about a year ago was that very same color, and that he insisted for a while that I buy him fuschia crocs, oh and the pink maribou dress up princess slippers he used to parade around the house in, man he's in for it when he starts dating huh?!). I think Milo is wearing pink in support of Ana coming home personally! Anyways, I'll update you all tomorrow, and I'll be wearing pink again, think pink everyone!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Eagle Has Landed!!!

Yes it's true!! We are now officially waiting for PINK!! The package was delivered at 3:35pm, talk about calling it close!! You're lucky Mr. Fed Ex Guy, there are a lot of people taking you off their lists right now!

On the Road Again...

Our package is back on the truck as of 9:30 am Guatemala time. So Mr. Fed Ex Guy, would you please, please, please deliver our package before you open your lunch box today? I would greatly appreciate being able to unglue myself from my refresh key very soon, thankyouverymuch!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Well, Mr. Fed Ex Guy, You Tried...

Well, Mr. Fed Ex Guy tried to deliver our package today, but seems to have been turned away because it was too late. I've heard that if the package doesn't arrive by 3:30 at the Embassy that it will not be accepted. I have however also seen a package be delivered and accepted at 4:06 pm, so who knows what the story is! At any rate, our DNA results sit at the Fed Ex facility in Guatemala City overnight and will not get there until tomorrow. It is what it is I guess!

In other news, the vet called this afternoon and wanted to see Milo back in the office right away, his blood results came back quite abnormal and they are thinking he may have Addison's disease (his adrenal glands are not working). He remains at the clinic to receive IV fluids, in hopes to stabilize him to do the test that will determine for sure if this is what he is suffering from. He is very ill, but if/when he recovers, a monthly injection should keep his adrenal glands in check and he should be able to go back to wreaking havoc on the household. On any normal day Milo makes me completely insane, but the last few days he has been so off. I knew in my gut something was not right and I feared it might be something serious. Why did it take something like this to realize how much I really care about him? I really miss him, that little booger... So if you wouldn't mind, could you say a little prayer for my doggy tonight?

Dear Mr. Fed Ex Guy...

The poor Fed Ex delivery people. They must think there is a contract out on their lives with all the talk that goes on in "Guatemalaadoptionworld" about stalking Fed Ex. So Mr. Fed Ex guy, do you feel like someone is watching you? That's me, but I mean no harm Mr. Fed Ex. guy, really! I just want to know when you deliver my DNA results to the US Embassy in Guatemala so they can make me an appointment to come and get my baby girl! Now you can understand that, right?! I see that your computers were last updated at 6:45 this morning, and my precious package was in transit through Miami. I would really appreciate it if you could deliver my package before the Embassy closes today, 'cause if you show up at your deadline of 6pm they will already be closed and you will have to re deliver it tomorrow. That's more work for you, and we wouldn't want now that would we? So if you will just do this one favor for me, I promise to stop stalking you, deal?! That being said, I cannot however speak for those who will follow in my footsteps in the coming weeks and months, sorry!

Monday, February 25, 2008

I Feel Like I'm Living a Bad Country Song Today...

My dog is sick ick ick
Husbands car won't start art art
My car's outta gas as as (hee hee, sorry!)
House is a mess ess ess
and the social worker is a comin' toniiiiiigggghhhht...

That's right folks, Milo the wonder dog has not been himself the past couple days. Just kind of lying around, no havoc wreaking, totally ignoring the cat even! I just returned from the vet and they suspect he may have a urinary tract infection so we're waiting on the results of that right now.

So, Greg gets up this morning, actually earlier than usual because he's coming home early to meet with our SW for our home study update. He goes out to start his car, and it won't start. He left his lights on overnight and the battery is completely dead. He tries to jump it to no avail, and gets out our handy dandy battery charger and wouldn't you know it, it won't even take a charge! So seeing his only option is to take my car to Wal-Mart (remember, I needed a vehicle to get the dog to the vet so I couldn't be without today) to buy a new battery (which I have to say, I'm pleased my pack rat husband kept the receipt from his last battery purchase because Wal-Mart has a lifetime replacement policy, so that takes care of the $80.00 we didn't have for a battery!). He was on his way home, about half a mile from our house when the steering suddenly locks up on him as he's rounding a bend. The car is out of gas and has stalled. It takes all his strength to steer the car around the bend (we must have been very strong before power steering!) and pull the car to the side of the road. Thankfully, he has a gas tank in the back of the car with enough fuel to get the van to the gas station to fill up. He finally makes it home, puts in his new battery and heads off to work 2 1/2 hours later than he started.

It's all very funny (well except for Milo, my poor little doggy). I've tried to contact the social worker to see if we might be able to postpone a few days, but I haven't heard back. Well, worst case he shows up and the house is still a mess ess ess, and Greg is late ate ate...

I'm not blue though, you wanna know why? Are you ready to sing the chorus to my song? Here we go...

DNA results are on their way ay ay
to the Embassyyyyyy!!!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Stuff and Things...


For your viewing pleasure:
some pictures, some video, and a little giggle at the end....

The sweater I crocheted for Ana:


The piggy bank I painted when Greg, Ian and I went to do pottery a few Saturdays ago:


The adorable hats Greg's mother's friend sent for the kids (the kids...doesn't that sound cool?):




Greg's recent attempt at making chocolate chip cookies.
He didn't feel the need to measure the ingredients, hopefully this was a lesson learned for him:



Video of Ian's piano recital:

video

I have never shared any of the video of our visit with Ana. Mostly because it was very hard to watch it for a long time (pictures are one thing, but video just puts you back there totally), but also because I act like such a goon on it! Anyways, thought I'd share a clip of our girl in action! Enjoy!

video

And last but not least, here's an Ianism for a giggle:

Last Friday night (the 15th) after his piano lesson, I brought Ian by my mum and dad's to wish my mum a happy birthday. Ian told me he wanted to sleep over their house, but I told him that it was not polite to ask. If they asked him that was fine, but we were not going to ask them. So we get there, and hang out for a while. Ian calls my dad into the other room. Usually this means he is trying to scam some of their favorite snack, Cheez-Its. Well my dad comes back in the room with a semi-smile on his face. I knew immediately that Ian had mentioned sleeping over. I pressed my dad, but he wouldn't tell me what they talked about. A little while later, this is the conversation that emerged:
My dad starts, "Ian wants to have a sleepover" to which my mum replies, "Well of course he can sleep over!" I said, "I knew that's what he was doing earlier!" My dad just smiled. So Greg goes into the other room and asks Ian about it. Ian tells Greg, "I didn't ask to sleep over! I asked Papa to ask mumma to let me because he's her dad and he can tell her what to do!" Greg came back with a big smirk on his face and told me what Ian said. We all had a good laugh, and even though I know I should have made a lesson out of it, Ian ended up getting his way. I just couldn't resist the thought of waking up without six year old feet in my face! Nothing like rewarding manipulative behavior huh?!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Orange!

I was working on another post but it had to be interrupted by some news I received today. You may be wondering why my site is all orange today. Well, in the Guatemala adoption world, the color orange signifies the issuance of authorization for the 2nd DNA test, and the color pink signifies the issuance of your embassy appointment (I think it is due to the color paper these forms are printed on). Well, I received an e-mail from Lab Corp today letting me know that Ana's 2nd DNA sample has arrived at the lab! So apparently we became orange sometime in the past few days. The woman, Pat, who has been a wonderful source for many anxious adoptive parents, said that it usually takes 7-10 days for the DNA analysis to be completed (though it can be quicker), then she will supply us with a tracking number so we can track it back to the US Embassy in Guatemala. I am so grateful for this information! So be looking for the blog to turn pink next!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Playing Catch Up

A little catching up to do. Greg is going to get the video uploaded of Ian's recital (I really need to learn how to do that!) soon so I can share that, but for now I'll just post a picture. The song he played this time was called "The Dance Band". Once again, he got up there with no music and played his piece, we were very proud!



My cousin Katherine flew in from NYC on that Friday night and spent the weekend at my mum and dad's house so we got to spend a lot of time with her which was really nice. Ian loves Katherine and was very excited to see her again! On Saturday, we went to Time to Clay to paint pottery. This happens to be Ian's favorite activity so he came with us and did pretty well hanging out with the girls (my mum, sister, Katherine and I). He painted a pirate and a lizard statue, but mostly liked hugging and kissing on his Auntie Shel and beloved Katherine! Anyways, the next morning, we all went out to breakfast at our favorite 50's style diner where my mum and I enjoyed sharing plates as usual, half each of a ham and cheese omelette and a waffle topped with blueberries, strawberries and ice cream (breakfast of champions don't you think?!). Thanks for visiting Katherine!

On to Valentine's Day! Besides receiving our newest set of Ana pictures (oh and for those who are wondering, we have not arrived at a decision on her name yet!) and the news that we had received our birth certificate finally, here's a little recap of the rest of our Valentine's Day. I woke up to Ian wishing me a Happy Valentines' Day and wanting to give me his present which was an adorable mailbox he went and made at Lowes with Greg the previous weekend. It has two mail slots and a little heart flag you can put up, so cute! Ian had his Valentine's Day party at school and came home with Valentine's from all his friends, so that was very exciting! When he came home, I gave him the present I made for him which was a fleece blanket covered in dogs (he loves dogs!!) that he has been dragging around ever since (all I can think of is Linus!). I was literally sewing up the last seam 5 minutes before the bus came in true Cammie form! We went on a date for lunch at Louie's Pizzeria and spent two hours eating and playing "I spy" his newest favorite game, it was so nice. Then we came home to start getting ready for our special Valentine's Day dinner we were preparing for daddy of home made pizza, cupcakes (decorated by Ian), and "kid's champagne" (sparkling cider). Greg came home with flowers for me and a gigantic cookie for Ian, we were both very pleased!



We immediately spiraled birthday marathon weekend. February is a big month for birthday's in our family. My brother in law Michael kicks off the month on the 1st, my mum's is the 15th, my sister-in-law's is the 16th and my sister's is today, the 17th. We celebrated all the birthdays by getting together and going out to dinner on Saturday night. It was really a great time, HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE! My dad declared that we are to try our very best to avoid any more family birthday's in February (so Mike and Michelle, watch it from April to June!)

So it's been a busy month so far. I'm hoping to keep up the momentum this week and hear that we are ORANGE (which means that we have had our second DNA authorized), and hopefully have it collected as well, so be on the lookout for that! Of course we've got an extra day to get through before hearing anything seeing as it's a holiday weekend! That's certainly one thing I will be happy to have back when this adoption is complete, looking forward to weekends again! When you are in process, nothing happens on the weekend, so even though they are supposed to be family time and we're supposed to look forward to them all week long, we really do look forward to getting back to business on Mondays at the moment.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day!

There will be more to follow later on tonight about our Valentine's Day, but I just wanted to quickly post the new pictures and update I just received! These will likely be the last pictures we receive from our agency before we go to pick her up! The next pictures you see of her will be taken by my camera, that is so exciting to think about, I sure have a lot of making up to do! Anyways, here's the e-mail followed by the pictures. I just can't wait to pinch those cheeks again!

Hi Cammie and Greg,

I hope you're doing well. I saw the baby last week and again yesterday. She's doing wonderfully. Her caretakers say she is good-natured and a happy baby. She's eating all types of liquified and soft, mashed foods. She can roll over on her and can hold her own bottle. She is very attentive and curious. She likes watching adults as they're having a conversation. She babbles often and tries to put everything in her mouth.

Here's the photos!







Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I Spoke Too Soon

Okay, why does it seem that every time I whine I have to turn around and eat my words? I just got an e-mail from our coordinator to let us know that our case has been registered. But beyond that, she also let us know that Ana's birth certificate had been issued and that the attorney is working on getting the passport. After that she will submit for 2nd DNA authorization, DNA will be taken and sent to a lab in the U.S., then sent back to the embassy in Guatemala, our pink slip will be issued within a few days after that. I believe getting the passport takes at the most a couple days, as does the obtaining the authorization, then the rest will depend on when the DNA is taken. We're getting closer folks! It's amazing what a little update will do to change a morning around, consider my funk lifted!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Still Nothing to Report...

This has been by far the hardest part of the process. I feel like we are in an information black hole. I do a lot of surfing of other blogs and forums and see so many people who got out of PGN after us (sometimes more than 2 weeks after!) getting their pink slips (their embassy appointment) already. It's just killing me to still be in the dark! I was told that the town Ana was born in has no problems with issuing birth certificates but it seems like that could be the only thing we are waiting for at this point. I have to assume that the final adoption decree making Ana legally our daughter has been signed (we were told we would hear if there was trouble locating the birth mom). I hate that she is legally ours yet still the weeks are passing without her being with us! I'm trying to be patient, really I am! I think I'd be better if we just knew where in the process we are! I'm trying to understand that the attorneys are undoubtedly crazy busy with the registering of all their cases to the Central Authority, today is the last day for that to happen. Our agency says that their attorneys have successfully registered all of their cases so that's fabulous news for all those families who have been in limbo waiting to get back into PGN. Hopefully now that that is done we'll hear something on our case by the end of the week. Please, please, please let us hear something...Thursday will be 5 weeks in the dark and I just want my little girl home!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Opinion Time

Okay folks, I need an opinion. Now that we have to start filling out paper work that requires Ana's full name I suppose we should figure out what her middle name is going to be. When I was pregnant with Ian, we had picked out boys and girls names. There were several girls names we (well at least I) liked. We had agreed though that her middle name would be Michelle after my sister. When we knew we were going to be adopting a little girl, we had initially thought we would name her Lily, and make her name given at birth her middle name. Then we received our referral, and of course her given name was Ana which we both really liked. Our only concern with Ana (pronounced Ah-na) was with the probability that many would Americanize the pronunciation (more like Anna) and she would have to constantly correct people, so we started thinking about naming her Lily Ana, which we both adored but there was still that pull to keeping her birth name as it was given to her (she was not given a middle name in case you were wondering). We eventually decided, largely because time had passed and we knew she was likely getting used to hearing her name as Ana, to go with Ana. Okay so fast forward to today, really doing some thinking about her middle name. Part of me wants to give her a middle name that incorporates both of her families. Her birth mother's middle name is Azucena which is different, I like it but it would never be pronounced correctly and Greg expressed a concern over spelling issues (he's dyslexic in case you weren't aware). I did a search on the meaning of this name and my jaw hit the table with what I read. Would you believe that Azucena means lily?! I am now sure that this is more than a coincidence and that Lily has to be incorporated some how. So, now we have some combination of Ana and Lily. But I also wanted to give her a name that has meaning from our family as well. Some have suggested I use my own name, Camilla, then she would have a name incorporating both of her mothers. Then I keep going back to the fact that if she had been a child born to me, she would probably have received the middle name Michelle. Oh, and sneaking that Lily in as the first name still creeps up on me but she's been called Ana for 7 months now so I don't know (would Liliana sound close enough for her?). So! Here's the variations that we have considered. I would love any input you may have!

Ana Lily Camilla
Liliana Camilla
Ana Lily Michele
Liliana Michele

What's your vote?!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Some Perspective

As we begin to prepare to bring Ana home, I have been doing some more thinking about what to expect with regards to attachment and bonding. I'm going to start sharing some information on this subject and on our plans when Ana comes home to do everything we can to help her adjust to her new family. I'm hoping it will help our loved ones understand just why we intend to do what we do. It's hard to understand what a child goes through when she is separated from her birth mother, placed in temporary care, then transitioned to a permanent home. I thought this analogy taken from www.a4everfamily.org was a good place to start. I will warn you, it is very long.

A Different Perspective
Immense Loss, Walk a Mile in Babies' Booties

Imagine for a moment…


You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.

But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.

But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.

Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.

You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.

Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.

Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

--Written by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, analogy courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Ready for This Again!

We've been going through old files on the computer lately and Greg came across these old clips of Ian singing. He must have been about 2 when these were done. Sometimes it's hard to remember he was ever this little! I am so ready to have a toddler in the house again!

video
video

Monday, February 4, 2008

My Invention

Ian will be having his second piano recital on Friday night. I never did post the video of his first one, so I thought I would finally share it! Hopefully I'll be faster with the next one! The name of his first recital piece was "My Invention", video creation by Greg...

video

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Just Waiting...

If you are wondering what the heck is going on with us, I can answer "not much!". We are just waiting here. I can share our latest medical update though. At 6 months, Ana was 14 pounds 12 ounces, and she was 25 inches long! She seems to be following the same growth curve, so I'm pleased! We have been out of PGN for three weeks now, but haven't heard anything. Our agency told us we wouldn't be likely to hear anything until the second DNA is authorized. Now this of course didn't stop Greg and I from calling to see if we could get any information in the meantime! We were told that no news is good news, and that we could assume things were plugging along as they should be. We are told we can assume that the final adoption decree has been signed, and that the birth certificate is being pursued. This has been difficult for us, I don't like to assume, I like cold hard facts!! I follow other people's blogs and see that they are updated as each step is completed, and it's killing me to not know for sure what is going on. Greg wrote again this past Thursday and received a response that was a bit of a hand slap repeating that we would hear when the 2nd DNA was authorized. Through the wording of that e-mail though, I gathered that the birth certificate is still being pursued. This makes me feel very confident to say that the final adoption decree has indeed been signed and Ana is now legally our daughter! Feels good to know that little piece. I have loved our agency, they are great at answering our inquiries, we always get a prompt reply to our e-mails and our social worker is awesome. The only drawback is that their procedure is to update families when "major milestones" have been reached (1st DNA results, enter/exit PGN, 2nd DNA). Well, from the perspective of this anxious prospective adoptive parent, hearing those baby steps to the major milestones can mean the difference between a good or bad emotional day. At any rate, we have been told that travel to pick up will happen about 2 months after release from PGN. We got out of PGN on January 10th so we can expect our pick up trip to be around March 10th (only 5 weeks away!). We're still plugging away at Ana's room, I need to take the time I spend at the computer searching for information (that can't be found) and use it to make her curtains and the quilt I bought material for a couple weeks ago! I've always been known as the type to have a million unfinished projects laying around, I'm trying so hard to not be that person anymore! Anyways, time is passing slowly here, not much excitement so sorry for my blogging absence! This week I promise to do better, I'll finally post the pictures I've been promising, and maybe a surprise video or two! Come back soon!

Friday, February 1, 2008

I've been tagged!

Ana is 7 months old today

Debbie over at World of Weeks tagged me, thanks for making me sit my butt down and compose a post Debbie, it's been far too long!

There are 5 rules to being tagged:

1. The rules are to link the person who sent this and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share 7 strange/weird facts about yourself
4. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and link their blog
5. Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Okay, 7 strange/weird things about me, here we go!

1. I share a "secret language" with my family, thus the title of my blog.
2. My emotions often erupt in what has come to be termed a "Cammie". It usually starts with something stupid that I find incredibly funny (I once lost it over a button popping off my jeans). So it starts with fits of laughter, and is followed by a bawl fest. Scary to witness, but I usually feel much better after!
3. I rub my feet together when I'm falling asleep at night.
4. I am notorious for falling asleep during movies, I even fell asleep in a movie theater once!
5. I have restless leg syndrome. Growing up my mom always called it "jumpy leg", I only recently discovered it actually has a name (see number 7). We still call it "jumpy leg" it is extremely annoying and uncomfortable!!
6. I wear flip flops until it's so cold my toes turn purple, then I reluctantly don shoes
7. I'm a compulsive internet researcher (medical things, recipes, knitting patterns, yeah almost anything). Google and I have an intimate relationship...

There you have it, my weirdness on public display, now to share the love, my tagees are:

Irene over at Life Gone Wild
Mimi over at This is Mimi's Life
Michelle over at Celiac and Us
Nancy over at The Bernhardt Family
Marcia over at The Soares Family
Gail over at Johanna Faith
Kathy over at Journey to Caylee

Oh and before I go, I want to shout out a
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
to my brother-in-law Michael and to my good friend Marcia!! Hope you both have a wonderful day!! Love you guys!