Am I a germophobe?

Having a boy, I haven't really had to deal all that much with little bums coming in contact with public toilet seats. There's always the fear of the flusher handle (Greg has taught him to flush with his foot) and the mysterious wet floor puddles (and doesn't he always just drop his drawers right down around his ankles nearly coming into contact with them?!) that are enough to make me run, but we are generally spared the horrifying thought of his skin actually coming in contact with the seat. That being said, this was our adventure in the park bathroom facilities today.

We were having a lovely visit at the playground. Ian was having a ball playing with Maya and Ryan, two friends we don't see enough of.

All of a sudden I see him heading for the bathroom, "mumma, I have to go poop!"

Oh man. "Are you absolutely sure you have to go?"

"Yes, I hafta!"

I dragged myself groaning from my spot on the bench and headed toward the bathrooms. We walked in and I surveyed the surroundings, stained concrete floors, the seat is up (Oh gosh, when he came in here to pee earlier he touched the seat!!), there is no soap (and he didn't have soap to wash up after!!), the trash is totally overflowing (he probably touched it!!), and there are three dead bugs in the sink (I choose not to think about his habit of playing in the water that sits in the sink). I don't know if I can do this

"Are you 100% sure this can't wait?"

"I'm sure"

"Okay, well don't touch anything until I've covered the seat!" So I go to work totally enshrouding the toilet seat with paper towels "You're still sure?"

"Yup, but you didn't close the door". I turn around to tell him he can sit down and, Oh my good God.....where are his shoes "Ian Gregory, where are your shoes?!" I think I'm about to faint....

"I always take my shoes off to poop"

"Not here you don't, look at this floor! Yuck yuck yuck get your shoes on your feet!!"

"Okay, here you go, let me lift you on"

"You know mumma, I don't really have to go actually"

"What?"

"Yeah, it went away, can I go play again?" Aye yie yie.......We wash our hands (sans soap remember) and I feel like a goalie trying to stop him from touching every surface on the way out of the room.

Poor Ana, she has no idea what she is getting into!