The Poop Story

It all started with Milo. He had diarrhea. On the carpet at the bottom of the stairs. One of the most frequently Ana traveled paths. Getting the jist?

Okay, so I'm sitting at the kitchen table checking my e-mail on the lap top and I smell something. Ana is sitting next to me on the floor so naturally I think that she has pooped. So I head for the dining room to fetch a diaper and wipes but realize that I'm still smelling the smell only stronger now. After some investigation I find the mess on the carpet and decide to get the kids situated for dinner and then get to dealing with it. Ian had piano lessons that night so he had to eat soon and with Ana in her high chair I wouldn't have to worry about her getting in the way of the clean up. So I plop Ana in her chair and serve up dinner and turn my attention to the carpet. I get it mostly cleaned up and decide to give it one last stain spray and let it sit for a little bit to really let it work. I check on the kids and find that I'm still smelling the smell, what the heck?! That's when I see Ana's socks...they are yellow and wet. I started to panic, but was starting to put the pieces together (this is why I smelled it in the kitchen when Ana was near, and why there were two small stains separate from the actual drop site...they were poopy footprints). I couldn't be sure where she had been in the time since she stepped in the poop and made it into the kitchen so WHO KNOWS WHERE poopy footprints have been deposited. It was becoming clear to me that a thorough scrubbing of every floor on this level had to be done. Anyways, I took off her socks and started to get her undressed to put her in the bath tub. That's when I noticed it wasn't just her socks. It was on her pants, and shirt and oh my gosh....HER HANDS!!! Yeah, in my haste to get her immobilized, I hadn't washed her hands before she ate and now she's been eating her dinner with poopy hands. I put her in the tub and scrubbed her from head to toe and was just finishing the task when Greg came home. Ian had to get to piano lessons so he had to then turn around and leave. I wish I had showered that day because that was my only reasoning for not taking Ian to his lesson. Because what happened while they were gone...sheesh.

Okay so I get Ana dried off and put a diaper on her and put her in the play pen so I can continue cleaning. She played pretty quietly for a while, which pleased me greatly! I came into the kitchen to get some soap and peeked in on Ana and was sent instantly into hysterics by what I saw. Ana had pooped. Then she had removed her diaper. Then she pooped some more. She then painted the wall and the playpen; and then painted herself. I remember walking into the bathroom starting to sob saying to myself "I can't do this....what do I do? I can't do it....I can't do it!!!". After I managed to relatively collect myself, I put Ana back into the tub and sprayed her down with the shower head. I then put another clean diaper on her (and a ONESIE this time!) and plopped her on the couch saying, "You stay right here...mummy is very angry!" and she stayed there for a good 15 minutes. Poor thing, she must have been scared! By the time Greg got home, I was nearly to the point of rocking in the corner. I literally didn't know where to start! We put the kids to bed and set to work steam cleaning the carpet, scrubbing the hard floors and walls, and dismantling the play pen and it's surroundings. It took all night but we got it done. The last thing we did was to run some hot water through the hoses of the steam cleaner to make sure there was no poopy residue stuck inside. Greg filled the sink with hot water and ran the cleaner sucking the water through the hose. For some reason he decided that this water couldn't be dumped down the sink and he makes his way to the front door with the reservoir to empty it. I suddenly hear, CRASH, SLOSH, "Cammie I'm gonna need your help right now". I was still on my hands and knees in the dining room scrubbing the floor; I was not very happy to hear what was happening in the next room. I discover that the lid to the reservoir has popped off and the entire container of water (yes, this is just what we sucked through the poop containing hoses) has spilled over the newly mopped kitchen floor. Seriously?! I get him some towels, the lysol and the mop and he goes to cleaning up the latest mess. The crowning glory to this story is that he then plops the mop and the steam cleaner container on the front porch and some water splashes back at him and hits him in the mouth. My response? "Serves you right for making an extra mess!" Yeah, no sympathy, sorry....