On the Mend...

It's been an interesting week. Last Wednesday I woke up with a bit of a cough, nothing major, just a little cough. Well, that's what I thought anyways; by the afternoon I had a fever and was starting to feel achy. Still nothing major I thought, and my biggest worry at that point was the fever that didn't want to respond to Tylenol and how it might affect the baby. I was on the phone with my primary doctor and my OB that afternoon and they reassured me that as long as the fever didn't get too high, it would be okay but that I should have an appointment with my primary the next day to check things out. So the fever hovered in the high 99's, low 100's all night long, never really breaking, even with around the clock Tylenol, and I didn't sleep more than an hour stretch. I woke up feeling horrible! The aches, chills, exhaustion; my head was completely congested, my chest was sore, I was a mess! I saw the doctor that afternoon and he did a strep test which came back negative and was pretty sure that I had a run of the mill cold virus and that rest and fluids were the order of the day. He upped my asthma medication as my chest was sounding a little rattly and sent me on my way. By that evening, I was having trouble breathing and after an hour of realizing it wasn't getting any better we decided we should head for the ER. I was diagnosed with Influenza A during that visit, and to make an already long story shorter, was sent home after a few nebulizer treatments only to return twice over the next 12 hours. It literally felt like we would get home, relax for a couple hours and have to do it all over again. It was exhausting to say the least. By the time of my return from the second ER visit we had begun to think that maybe the animals (who don't normally give me any allergy/asthma issues), paired with the influenza may just be too much for my lungs to handle at the moment. We sent Milo to Steve and Amy's and Greg cleaned like a fiend. After the third visit though, we decided I would be better off secluding myself to the room over the garage where the animals have never been until I could get this illness under control. So that's where I stayed from around noon on Friday until noon on Saturday. I slept a little bit, and woke up feeling a little bit better than I had the day before so I thought I was beginning to turn the corner. However by around 10am it was very clear that things were getting much worse. I couldn't move from the bed two feet to the chair where I had my nebulizer set up without completely losing my breath, and my fever was starting to climb. It was horrible, and terrifying really. I knew that I had to get back to the hospital but the thought of making the trek back was too much. I simply didn't have the energy to get out of the house into the car. That's when Greg called the ambulance. I was so relieved. I knew I would receive treatment en route to the hospital, and would get treated immediately upon arrival. I figured though that we would get there, and like the other times would begin to feel better and I would feel stupid for all the hassle. Quite the contrary actually. My temperature upon arrival was 103.3 and I began to panic. I knew it was high, but I didn't know it was that high. Greg wasn't there yet, and I could feel myself starting to lose my composure. I was sure that this fever was going to kill the baby. They decided to admit me at this point and were pretty sure that I was now dealing with pneumonia on top of the influenza. I again was so relieved to stay. I was so afraid to go back home. I knew then that I was going to get better; and I did, I am feeling so much better now. I was discharged on Sunday afternoon, after numerous nebulizer treatments, and IV antibiotics. To top it off, Monday my primary doctor called to inform me that the strep test I had taken in the office the previous Thursday had grown out over the weekend...seriously?! So, to recap, I had Influenza A, Pneumonia, and Strep throat all at the same time. No wonder I felt like a bus had dragged me through town. Anyways, I slept my first half decent night sleep on Sunday night and have steadily improved every day. Yesterday though, at about 2am I started cramping. It went on for most of the day yesterday. The nurse at my OB's office told me that I needed to drink tons of fluids and get as much rest as I can; that my body has been through a huge ordeal, and that the antibiotics that I'm on, yet safe are very powerful and I just need time to heal. So I'm listening. I'm resting, and drinking as much as I can. Ana is spending yet another day with her Mimi and Bumpa. My mum is coming over after work (because did I mention that my husband left for a business trip yesterday?) to help me get the kids dinner and into bed and she's spending the nights with me until Greg returns. My brother and Amy are still hosting Milo the wonder dog. It's been quite an ordeal. I'm just so thankful the cramping has subsided today and I never had any bleeding or spotting, so I'm hopeful that things are still okay with number three. I'm also tremendously thankful for my family and friends who have outpoured their love and generosity to help out during this time. I don't know how we would have gotten through the last week without all of your help and support so thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Gotcha!

Today is Ana's "Gotcha Day". One year ago today, we were in Guatemala, and our beautiful little girl was placed in our arms forever. I can't believe it's been a year already!

Favorite Photo Friday is back!

M is for Miracle...

So....
I had the blood work done on Wednesday, and talked to the nurse yesterday. The level had gone up to somewhere in the 15,000's which seems to be a good result. The doctor wanted me to come in for an early ultrasound though and got me an appointment this afternoon! I was excited that we would get to know for sure whether or not there was indeed a baby in there, but pretty anxious as you can imagine. The technician put the wand on my belly, and we couldn't see much. She said, "Well, there's the gestational sac, but I'm going to have to do a transvaginal ultrasound to see things better." I said, "There's a gestational sac?! That's good news, right?" She confirmed that it was indeed a good sign, and I hurried to empty my bladder so we could continue. So she's looking around, and I'm thinking I'm seeing something, but it's pretty grainy. Then I see that flicker; if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about....I gasped and said "Oh my God, is that a heart beating?" She took a few moments to confirm, and I instantly started to panic that maybe I hadn't seen what I thought I did, and she was trying to figure out how to tell me. But, she soon said, "Yup, that's a beating heart, I was just trying to get a better picture of it." I started to cry, and blabber my life story to this poor woman, who probably thought I was crazy. She said that the heart rate is about 120 beats per minute which is good for a 6 week embryo. I'm measuring at 6 weeks and 1 day, and my due date according to the ultrasound is October 22nd. I'm still in awe, but I believe it now...I'm pregnant!

Disbelief

First of all, I want to thank everyone for your kind words and well wishes. I think I'm still in a little bit of shock honestly! We found out last Friday, I just took a random pregnancy test; don't know why, just passed the display, and decided to pick one up! When I did the test at home, the first thought through my mind was, "stupid cheapie Wal-Mart pregnancy tests!", even though I knew it was doubtful it was a false positive. Anyways, to make a long story short, I ended up taking two more different brand tests over the weekend, and got the same result so I called the doctor. I went in for bloodwork on Monday and Wednesday to see if my HCG levels were doubling as they should be in a normal pregnancy, and to my complete amazement, the bloodwork looked good!

This is so strange for me. Infertility and miscarriage plays with your mind in so many ways. I feel like I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop because in my mind, my body is broken in it's compatibility with conception; and even a positive pregnancy test isn't confirmation because the last time I got pregnant, it ended in miscarriage (we think it was an ectopic actually, to further my disbelief that my body can actually get things in the right place). At any rate, I'm choosing to have a cautiously optimistic outlook about this. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled beyond belief at this possibility, I just can't shake the fear yet. I don't think I will be in full belief until I see or hear that little heart beating inside me.

So, I have another blood draw on Wednesday, we'll see what that tells us. They believe I'm about 5-6 weeks along at this point, and I am having a few symptoms such as a little fatigue, and my breasts are pretty sore so that's a good sign I think. I don't remember feeling any nausea with Ian until I was about 7 or 8 weeks, so we're holding out for it (is it bad to be looking forward to that?). I know that whatever happens, it's part of God's plan. I have felt in my heart for a while now though, even though I was afraid to admit it that there was another birthed child in our future. I will also admit that I believe there is another child not birthed by us out there that is meant for our family. Only time will tell...

"What'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

The Yes Game...

Well, the catch up has to take a back seat for now. The drive where my pictures are stored is not working, and to be completely honest, I'm freaking out about it. Greg says the information should be fine, and should be able to be recovered, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I know he has up to about June of last year backed up, but even from July to now would be a killer! That's Ana's first birthday and camping trip, Ian's birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, oh I don't even want to think about it! So I won't... Let's have a laugh, shall we? It's time for "Conversations with Ana". She answers yes to everything (Well, everything that is not about bedtime, or nap time, that is), and it has become a bit of a game for us. Anyways, this is how a typical "game" goes.

"Ana, do you love mummy?"
"Yesss"

"Ana, do you love daddy"
"Yesss"

"Ana, do you love brother"
"Yesss"

"Ana, do you love Milo"
"Yaaahhhh"

"Ana, do you love squirrels"
"Yessssss"

"Ana, do you love turkey gizzards?"
"Yesss"

"Ana, does Ian wear dresses?'
"Yaaahhh"

"Ana, does daddy wear makeup?"
"Yaaaaaahhhhh"

"Ana, is daddy stinky?"
"Yessssss"

"Ana, do you want to go nu-night?"
to which we get a sassy face and a whine. Ahhh, the attitude!

Ana's First Snow Experience

A few days before Christmas, we had a nice snow storm here. We decided it was time for Ana to see what the snow is all about. I'm afraid she wasn't all that impressed...

She was quite happy to get all dressed and was ready waiting at the door:

She bent down to touch the snow a couple times:



But this was the face she held nearly the entire time!



Ian was very excited that daddy let him help with the snow blowing!